I’m excited announce the launch of the Panta Rei Retreat, it’s a spa and workshop weekend at the luxurious Sutton Mill Inn where people can step out of their busy lives in a nice setting with some time for expansive thinking about what’s next in their lives and careers.  After doing workshops and conferences at hotels I decided it would be nice to do it in a natural setting and away from all the distractions of daily life to do this type of thinking.  Plus, I’m including massages, wine tasting and chef prepared meals….all things I love!  I figure it’s good to get pampered while you’re doing some deep thinking!

The first one is the weekend of September 25 and I’m looking forward to it. I’ve heard from many people recently that with all the turmoil in the world they want to know, “What’s next for me?” and people are so busy with their lives they don’t have the time or the space to really think this through.  My plan is for these retreats to be a great place to answer the bigger questions as well to have a great time.

Joe and I are headed up to the Sutton Mill Inn this weekend for a little relaxation and some planning on my part.

I’ve been doing some radio interviews with the launch of the book and several people have commented that it seems like Joe and I have the perfect marriage.  I’m not sure there is such a thing!

We’ve been through a lot during the 14 years we’ve been married, some good, some bad - just like everyone else.  We’ve had moments where we didn’t like each other very much and our paths diverged temporarily.  But I would say mostly, we’ve had great experiences and have grown together.

Those comments got me thinking and yes, we do have a great marriage and I’m so grateful for it but it certainly isn’t perfect.  It’s work.  I think if we’re kidding ourselves to say  that marriage isn’t.  It takes dedication and commitment to communicating and giving the other person space to be fully who they are.  One of the things that has worked well for us is that we allow each other to be individuals who share a life with a common vision for what we’re creating together as a couple.

When we graduated from college, our ideas of success were fairly limited to what society taught us - get a job, move up the corporate ladder, etc. etc. and we pursued that with vigor.  Now, we’ve redefined success and what that means for each of us together and separately.  It’s a very different definition than it was 14 years ago! Today, we’re more focused on creating value and having an impact, having great experiences and living life to the fullest.

The fact that we traveled around the country together to interview people for this book and wrote the book together is tremendous.  It was a wonderful experience for both of us.  We did have some tense moments on the road, but we set some ground rules before we left that made a big difference.  We said that if one of us was having a “moment” the other person would allow them the space to have “their moment” without adding to it.  A very simple but powerful thing.  We’ve carried that over to our normal life at home and it’s pretty powerful.

I actually think that’s a good rule to live by with anyone in your life!

Our book, Carve Your Own Road officially launches tomorrow!  I’m very excited that this day is here and it’s wonderful to see something I envisioned become a real thing.  Career Press, our publisher sent us a box with 40 books a few weeks ago.  I opened the box and there they were! It took a while for it to sink in that the thing I had worked on and dreamed about for over two years was actually a reality.

When we took this project on we didn’t have a publisher, but I knew somehow that it would get published some day.  We invested our own money and traveled around the country to interview people for the book because I felt like this story needed to be told.  Our first round with publishers didn’t work out, so after our travels and interviews I revised the book proposal and we sent it out to publishers for a second round.  I have to admit that I was a bit frustrated, but was still undeterred.  I really wanted to the book to be published last year, but it seems to me that the timing for the book coming out now is perfect.

My hope is that this book will help and inspire many of the people who find themselves in transition right now, as well as those who are worried about their futures.  I think that now is the perfect time to put a plan together for what you want for your future, even and especially, if you have to take a job in the interim that isn’t exactly what you want to do.

I see many people who year after year don’t take the time get clarity about what they want and they end up moving to another company continually seeking greener grass, only to find that the grass isn’t greener…it’s just different grass.  You won’t find happiness and purpose in your job or your company, that is fleeting.  Management teams come and go, mergers happen, layoffs happen…. You must find it within yourself and take it with you wherever you go.  When you do that, you are much more in control and your experience is completely different no matter where you are.

This book is truly about working and living on your own terms.  There’s no magic pill unfortunately but you can do it with intentional planning.  Small steps every day towards what you want build momentum and over time you will find yourself living and working in the way you intended.

I just finished 30 days of Operation Boot Camp here in Atlanta.  I signed up because I felt like I really needed a jump start on getting in shape.  When I signed up I was ambivalent about getting up early in the morning, working out with a group, and being pushed beyond my limits.  I really didn’t know what to expect.

It was a great experience because I did some things I never thought I would do or could do. I worked out in the pouring rain on several days, laid in the mud doing push ups and sit ups, ran sprints, did walking lunges and pushed way beyond my comfort zone.  I used to see people running in the rain and thought, “What’s wrong with them??”  I actually found that I enjoyed running in the rain (as long as it’s not a downpour), it has a peaceful quality about it.  I also found that getting muddy and dirty won’t kill me, in fact, it was kind of like being a kid again.

The other thing that I really enjoyed was that in my morning boot camp sessions, I was totally in the moment.  I was feeling my muscles, my breath and was purely focusing and pushing myself; there was no time to worry or think about anything other than what I was doing in that moment.  I would like to find more activities like that!

The instructors at Operation Boot Camp are amazing.  They push you without being degrading or demoralizing, they’re funny and inspiring and they really want to create a good time for everyone while getting fit.  It’s a great program for anyone that wants better fitness without feeling out of place. I plan to do it again and again, it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself on many levels.  When you push beyond your limitations physically, it gives you confidence to take on other things in your life, and even more importantly…my jeans fit better!

However, I am still a little sore today and looking forward to having a beer tonight to celebrate!

I’ve been hearing quite a few stories of people lately who are creating opportunites out of the chaos. I was talking a friend the other day who was laid off from her job after being there for 10 years and her husband was laid off from his job on the same day!  They made the decision to start the business they’ve always dreamed of starting together.

A young woman in her mid-twenties who I recently had coffee with was laid off from her job last week for the second time in 3 years.  She’s getting tons of offers to do consulting work plus she had a solid job offer she was considering.  She opted to do her own thing because she wants to have a family in the near future and thinks doing consulting work will be a better path for her to create her own schedule.

My neighbor told me last night she had gotten laid off from her job this past Friday and feels like the timing is perfect because she knows there’s something else she’s meant to do.  Now she has the time to explore what that means for her.

I don’t want to minimize the tough times many people are going through, but I’m seeing a lot of evidence that many people will be better for their experiences.   Lots of people  are turning this downturn into a time for reflection and moving more in the direction they really want to go.   Bravo!

I’ve recently had a couple of people ask me what my New Year’s resolutions are, and to be honest I don’t do resolutions. The word resolution, doesn’t inspire me. It sounds like I have to use a lot of willpower and force myself to do something I don’t really want to do. It’s something I know I should do, but I really don’t want to do it or I would have done it by now.

I like the word aspiration much better. So, for 2009 I’m setting Aspirations. Yeah, I like that much better… So, I thought I would share them.

1. Create my own economy.

2. Play more.

3. Spend less time in front of my computer. Do more brainstorming and creative thinking in unusual places and get myself outside of normal routines to create a space for new ideas to bubble up.

4. Notice the beauty around me and connect with the planet on a daily basis. I was noticing the sky tonight and how remarkable it was. I usually forget to do that unless I’m on vacation.

5. Allow more. Give more space to people who are different or who annoy me, be easy and gentle with those I disagree with.

That’s it, those are my 2009 Aspirations. I also have set goals of course, but that’s a different post. I saw a quote today that I love and think it’s representative of the times and this post.

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

ciao for now

There’s a lot of negative information out there right now, so I’ve been intentional about what I’m focusing on. I’m not  sticking my head in the sand and pretending that everything is perfect, I’m just being diligent about what I’m allowing yourself to focus on.

For example, I’m getting my news “on -demand” by reading and paying attention to the things that are meaningful to me rather than listening or watching the stream of bad news on television. I’m also focusing on what areas of the market are doing well and growing and looking for stories that are focused on that as well.

The other thing I’ve noticed is that when I’m with a group of people and the conversation gets “stuck” on negative topics I try to change the conversation or opt out. It’s important to me to be mindful of where my focus and energy go now more than ever. The current economic situation isn’t going to change overnight, so it’s best to focus on the solutions rather than the problems. There are always people who prosper in a down economy, why shouldn’t you be one of those people?

It’s been a while since I wrote a post. I recently came down with the flu and then it turned into acute bronchitis and it left me pretty incapacitated for a two week period. I’m one of those people who never gets sick, so this was really frustrating for me. I realized I didn’t know how to just be sick and stop everything, I think that’s why it lasted so long.

I tried to continue working with my laptop in bed with me.  That’s not resting and my body reacted to that. I learned a lesson that I won’t soon forget, and that is to listen to my body and what it needs. I have been working nonstop this year finishing the book, working with clients, traveling, etc. and I just flat wore myself out. I think a lot of people do this, I know I’m not alone!

It goes back to feeling guilty about not working and taking time off. It really is absurd, if I had taken the time I needed at the beginning of my illness the time would have probably been cut in half. Our bodies cannot take a sustained stress levels without a break. When we don’t pay attention, we get a forced break….

This week was an interesting week, we are in the midst of economic and political turmoil and it’s a bit unsettling.  This is a great opportunity to spend some time on reflection and getting perspective on what’s really important.

I realized how grateful I am that during the last recession I spent some time getting clear about what I really wanted in my life and that I didn’t want to be defined by my job.  So, the perspective I have during this downturn is different.   I’m not worried about losing my job because I don’t have one!  I do have a business now and my business could and has been affected by the economy.  However, what’s completely different for me is that I see ways I can respond to what’s happening and make some changes in my focus.

I’ve decided to join forces with Elizabeth Gordon who is the author of this year’s business bestseller The Chic Entrepreneur: Put Your Business in Higher Heels and owner of Flourishing Business®, a boutique management consulting firm, previously worked for companies like Accenture. We’re doing a workshop called How to Flourish in the New Economy on November 7 and 8 in Atlanta.  This workshop helps people use this time of change to get some clarity for what they want in the careers and and to leave with a blueprint for how to successfully navigate the ever-changing career landscape.

We both reinvented ourselves during the last downturn and we’re going to show others how to do the same thing.  I firmly believe that we have choices for how to deal with what’s going on and I think it’s best to spend some time planning and thinking about how to respond rather than reacting out of fear.

I’m happy to announce the manuscript for Carve Your Own Road:  Your Work. Your Life. Your Terms. is finished!  We delivered it to the publisher earlier this week and the book will be available in stores this coming April.  It’s really exciting to have this dream come to fruition.  I’m now focusing on planning for the promotion for the book and planning more conferences and seminars.

I’ll also be working on revamping the website with a lot of new content over the next few weeks, I put all of that on hold while finishing the book in the last few months.  Let me know if there are some things you would like to see us cover in more depth.